Richie Rich Flees Country With Governmet Bail-Out Money

Billionaire Richie Rich fled the U.S. with over $20 billion in government bail-out funds that had been allocated to enable Rich Enterprises to continue operations after a disasterous stock scheme.

Rich had gone to Congress and tearfully begged for government assistance on behalf of his employees just last week.

"I know I've often said that the government is a worthless bueracracy that just provides welfare to lazy people, but now you have a chance to return some of the tax money I've given you in the past," Rich had begged. Later investigation showed that Rich had avoided paying any income tax for years by using off-shore shell corporations.

Despite promises that the $20 billion would be used to strictly to save Rich Enterpirses, Rich immediately sent out a letter terminating all employees. Even though Rich claimed poverty in the letter, it now appears that he flew to Brazil via private jet before it was even delivered.

The pilot of the plane was later interviewed and reported that Rich stated during the trip, "They didn't really think I could get by personally without at least a few billion in my pocket, did they? And if the Rich Enterprise employees would have been good workers, they wouldn't be out of a job today."

Members of Congress expressed shock that an American billionaire would act in an illegal or unethical manner.

"In retrospect, we should have been suspicious when he asked for the money in large bags with dollar signs on them instead of depositing it a bank," one congressmen admitted.