1) I agree that whenever I have my iPhone on my person, I will never be fully mentally present. If I am at work, I will be thinking about my iPhone. If I am with my wife, I will be thinking about my iPhone. If I am awake and near my iPhone, I will be thinking about my iPhone.
2) I agree that I will not check my email ten times a day on the computer. I will check my email 10,000 times a day on my iPhone.
3) I agree that I will let my kids take endless blurry photos of the dog with the iPhone camera. At work, I will painstakingly erase these photos instead of working.
4) I agree that I will immediately shut off the AT&T 3G network, as it is still slow as Hell and drains the batteries fast as Hell and doesn't really seem much faster.
5) I agree I will never use any of the apps I install – except “LOSE IT!” –which I will enter my daily food intake with the obsessiveness of a lifelong anorexic.
6) I agree I will not feel jealousy as I watch my friends with Blackberries write email and text in actual typing speed, instead of super-slow and careful typo-ridden iPhone speed.
7) I agree I will not install any game apps on my iPhone. Seriously, that would be the end of me. Seriously.
8 ) I agree I will not enter my “Lose It!” information while driving. Or at least, I will look around to make sure no cops are looking while I input "tangerine - medium - 50 calories."
9) I agree I will stop telling my wife, “No, really – this thing is better than Star Trek! Could Spock go jogging and then go online and see his exact route around the neighborhood with how fast he was going? Could he? Could Spock do that???”
10) I agree to stroke the thick, heavy, magic-seeming, temperature-cool glass surface of the touch screen with a sensuality I have never bestowed upon a human being.
Well done, but I don't understand what this has to do with Battlestar Galactica...
Church
Apr. 7, 2009 19:26:pm
at 19:26:pm
Today I was trying to check my email on my iPhone while I was getting out of my car. I dropped it on the pavement from about 5 feet up. It still works, the steel bezel is just slightly dinged. But I think I secretly wanted it to die.
Lev Grossman
Apr. 7, 2009 20:44:pm
at 20:44:pm
I find your lack of faith in the force desturbing Mr. Grossman! Ha, I dare not get an iPhone because I know it will end what little life I already hold onto. THE APPS!
farsig
Apr. 8, 2009 00:42:am
at 00:42:am
As a long time reader of this blog, I'm ashamed that my first comment is going to be the negative following: The iPhone is a festering sore on the face of Apple. Praise Android.
meaganclaire
Apr. 8, 2009 12:47:pm
at 12:47:pm
I have no phone. I find no need for one. I wonder why all of these people around me feel compelled to put a piece of plastic and metal into their pocket and carry it around all day, the pull it out when they are bored, instead of occupying themselves inside their own heads. If you could shed light on this subject, please do, although I doubt I will like the answer.
tereglith
Apr. 8, 2009 19:30:pm
at 19:30:pm
tereglith, I agree that you may not like the answer. Your opinion of cell phones is the same opinion expressed by at least a fraction of every generation towards some new form of technology. When THE phone became popular I'm sure some person said "Why do they need to talk to people right away? Just make the two week trip to the neighbors house." That example may be a bit old for you so how about a newer one. I still hear older people ask "Why anyone would want a computer at home. It's just a big hastle and why would you need it for fun when you could just do something on your own?" People carry cell phones for the convenience. Why fiddle with it when your bored? Why cook meat when it won't kill you to eat it raw? Because you can.
farsig
Apr. 11, 2009 12:20:pm
at 12:20:pm
I agree with tereglith except for me it's confined to iPhones and Blackberries.
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I would go into the long list of reasons why, but some kids just walked onto my lawn and I need to shake my cane at them.
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Also, this explains a lot about Selman's posts.
Cliff
Apr. 12, 2009 15:03:pm
at 15:03:pm