So Stephenie Meyer announced today that she wrote a new thing -- her first such thing in two years. It's a novella called The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner. It's from the point of view of ... Bree Tanner. It'll come out on June 5. Some of the proceeds will go to the Red Cross.
So who the forks is Bree Tanner? The answer is simple: she is some random vampire. She was in Eclipse. I didn't remember her, but according to this, Victoria created her as part of her campaign to get revenge for the Cullens killing James. That didn't work. And then the Volturi exterminated Bree for breaking one of their vampire rules. So it goes.
From the title I was hoping it was some kind of vampire mash-up of Hemingway's The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber, where the slutty adulterous wife turns out to be a bloodsucker and noms up the whole hunting party. No such luck.
I'm astounded that she's allowed to write anymore. My wife and I saw Twilight on On Demand last weekend to see what all the fuss was about. I can't believe that story was written by an adult. Not only was it a crap story but it wasn't even competently crafted. I can understand why 13 year old girls love it. A lonely, average looking girl falls instantly, mutually in love with a sexually nonthreatening supernatural being who defends her life from another obsessed supernatural being and to celebrate they go... to prom! That's 2 hours of my life that I'll never ever get back.
charlieromeobravo
Mar. 30, 2010 11:54am
Not that you're wrong or anything, but it might be a tiny bit unfair to criticize a book you haven't read based on the movie. I could name some awesome books with disappointing movies (*cough* harry potter *cough*).
On a different note, what 13-year-old girl is going to read this new book knowing that it ends with the heroine getting torn to pieces and burned?
ewstephe
Mar. 30, 2010 13:28pm
If the movie is even loosely based on the book, the book is still terrible. These are fantastically bad movies, unless you enjoy pointing out obvious flaws.
'We have to play baseball in thunderstorms because we hit the ball so hard.'
Not swinging a bat like that you don't. Wouldn't the bat explode? Bleh.
ajmartinez51
Mar. 30, 2010 16:30pm
My wife read the first two books with her teenage sister. I was lucky enough to be in the room while parts of the second book were read. To their credit they stopped after the second book but it was too late. My ears were already bleeding. Awful doesn't begin to describe the books. However, someone pointed them to the female protagonist's birthing scene in the fourth book and that crap is so bad that it's good. Literally LMAO.
tyrantking
Mar. 30, 2010 18:40pm
And so the milking begins. Oh wait... I guess that happened a long time ago.
radiohank11
Mar. 31, 2010 00:17am
Why did Red Cross agree to this?
tereglith
Mar. 31, 2010 12:32pm
Far more troubling than the Meyer news:
Why is Count Chocula ONLY available during Halloween season???
When the hell did this happen, and why are we standing by idly?
If Meyer is allowed to publish these books, and we aren't allowed to eat Chocula, what kind of world are we living in?!?...
gminnj
Apr. 1, 2010 11:35am
Lev, I think saying she "wrote" a new book is a bit inaccurate. According to her blog, she wrote it before she'd published, back when she was editing Eclipse. A small difference, all in all.
sonicroyale
Apr. 13, 2010 13:11pm
*gasp* someone wrote a book that others despise? the. earth. just, stopped: spinning.
From my point of view, whatever it is worth, the movies weren't good at capturing the story. The books were great. Great concept. Great story.
You didn't like it? That's cool; there are plenty of books out there you might enjoy. But alas, pessimism abounds.
coldshowers
Apr. 26, 2010 00:40am