There are flawed movie characters. One-dimensional movie characters. Incomprehensible movie characters.
But every once and a while you get a hero so soulless, heartless and expressionless that you can't help but write him off. A guy you want to punch more than hug, who you heckle in hopes that he fails.
Edward Cullen is such a mess. He groans and fawns and broods and sighs, with the same dumb expression on his face, rendering him a pretty slight heartthrob. He delivers his lines in the same montone, jagged fashion, rendering him a pretty timid orator. And he continuously gets his butt kicked in fights, making him a less than awe-inspiring vampire.
As written in these scripts, and as portrayed by Robert Pattinson, he's a pretty worthless creation. But he's not alone in the great annals of cinema; here are nine other characters that are almost as pathetic.
View gallery on your mobile device here.
Is it just me, or does Robert Pattinson look perpetually stoned, on and off set?
tereglith
Jun. 30, 2010 11:08am
I found this since my first comment was made. It really underscores what a creeper Edward is. And how badass Buffy is.
tereglith
Jun. 30, 2010 17:19pm
you can't really compare Buffy to Edward, mainly because Buffy is awesome and Edward doesn't even approach mildly entertaining.
Clip one of my Favs
redanker
Jun. 30, 2010 23:29pm
I actually hate Bella more. Both are terrible, but she's miles ahead of Edward in the pathetic character department.
Who's with me?
sonofmrpeanut
Jul. 1, 2010 20:26pm
@sonofmrpeanut: Sorry, Jacob wins first place!
cydonos
Jul. 2, 2010 11:39am
Well, to start at the beginning, Steven James's writing could use a bit of polish... he describes Cullen with contempt, yet calls him a hero. The word he wants is protagonist. Perhaps Cullen appears to be soulless because vampires have no souls; good acting, huh? And it should be "whom you heckle," not "who." Then there's "Timid orator." Not everyone who acts, or speaks aloud, is an orator, and "timid orator" is an oxymoron. It strikes me that if you are going to speak with such contempt about the way a person does his job, you'd better be pretty sure that the way you do your own is above reproach--and certainly not lazy or sloppy.
nkimb
Jul. 2, 2010 13:21pm
As big a loser as he is, he does have a pretty hot girlfriend. He did pretty good considering he had gone 90 years without a date previously. Since he is cold as a stone, I can't imagin any girl would even enjoy holding his hand much less really make out with him.
robinjoe
Jul. 2, 2010 13:47pm
@nkimb either you are very upset twilight fan or you just a dick? which is it?
xpopsx
Jul. 3, 2010 18:14pm
@nkimb - didn't you even hang around for the flaming to begin? Wow, there's a Twilight fan who knows when their comments won't be taken seriously at all.
I mean, come on. Taking the author to task for his 'lazy or sloppy' writing just because he took a swipe at your precious Edward? Particularly when you have very few legs to stand on. Okay, the whole orator thing *may* be correct given that most dictionaries define it as "eloquent and skilled public speaker." which Edward is obviously not. Maybe he meant 'stilted, boring, and inconsquential speaker' but was trying to be a little bit polite. Unlike you. Or me.
With regard to your 'good acting, huh' comment - I think you might be missing the point. Not surprising, but still. When SJ said 'soulless' I don't think he meant that RP convinced him that he doesn't have a soul, I think he meant he really didn't put any heart into his work at all. For you to misunderstand that really must have required some effort. Either that or you are as dumb as your comment portrays you to be.
And as far as I'm concerned, every character in the Twilight 'verse is as pathetic as the rest because they all dwell in a poorly written, poorly realised universe and have about as much depth as a puddle in the desert.
Any vampire that glitters in sunlight doesn't deserve to exist, any girl who thinks being stalked by a psycho is romantic deserves what will inevitably follow. These books are almost as bad as Dan Brown's 'work'.
geekygirluk
Jul. 5, 2010 12:44pm
Can't wait for this frakker to swirl down the toilet that claims all hasbeen teen idols. Thankfully his minions only want to see him play Edward and he can't open a movie on his own, so once they run out of those wretched books his career is over. He's already racked up ten box office flops (ten!), thanks to his inability to carry a film on his own. He will no longer be able to inflict his movies, his pouting and his flock of seagulls hairdo on unsuspecting victims.
dolleyes
Jul. 6, 2010 14:50pm
I don't know why people are getting so worked up about Edward's character and his portrayal. The writing and director is pretty much boxing his character, so I doubt any actor can do much to inject "soul" and personality - and would it really work? Imagine the alternative a nice, sensitive doormat Edward? Okay, how about a**hole, arrogant but I'm so cool? Or cheerful, sunshine Edward? In the end, I think the brooding protaganist suits his character.
drkvenger
Jul. 6, 2010 18:02pm
@drkvenger - for me it's not specifically, or rather just, Edward, (although as that's the topic here that's why we're addressing it) it's the appalling writing in the books and the characterisations. Yes, the character of Edward is broody and grim, so that's how RP plays him. But the character is so one dimensional that there isn't any room for RP to inject anything else in there, even if he wanted to or could. Edward is written as such a douchebag that RP has no choice but to play him as one. Hence why he's one of the worst characters of all time (although I'd put the moron Bella right up there with him).
I reckon that a few years down the line RP (assuming he has a noted career after this (really, dolleyes? Ten? Wow!) will be saying "Yeah, I hadn't read them before I started. Didn't realise what a load of old rubbish it was or how poorly the characters were realised. Stuck with it because I was under contract and I made a buttload of money and got some good exposure" Hmmm...maybe not that last part. I can see him going on to take the Hugh Grant type roles. Foppish English Posh bloke = romcom fodder.
geekygirluk
Jul. 7, 2010 08:15am
How cliche. Build them up and tear them down. Every time a new person gains the public's attention for a nanosecond, which is about all this ADHD culture can manage these days, a group soon follows declaring said person to be the worst person of all time. Brittney Spears gains too much attention from young teens, so the too-cool-for-school crowd declares her to be equivalent to the Antichrist. The same could be said for any number of a long list of teen heartthrobs across the ages: Zac Efron, Hanson, Luke Perry, the Backstreet Boys, New Kids on the Block, and the two Coreys, etc.
Look it, if these people really aren't worth paying attention to, then stop paying attention to them. Stop spending your time badmouthing someone you don't know and go do something else. Be productive. Make something positive. Otherwise, you just sound like whining brats.
call0105
Jul. 7, 2010 23:06pm
nkimb sounds like he/she'd be really fun to hang out with...not. el-oh-el.
The Opie and Anthony Show. Weekday mornings 6am-11am. Sirius 197, XM 202.
vice86
Jul. 8, 2010 01:00am
the movie version of edward cullen and robert pattinsons acting in it is horrible. i agree, but i have to say the edward version in the books is much better just from reading the 1st book. midnight sun which is edwards pov for the first book gives you a better look at what type of char he really is. they could have picked a better person to play him in the movies.....oh and taylor aka jacob....does anyone else notice that his head and neck look weird? like his head is to big for his neck...
nuala66
Jul. 8, 2010 15:11pm
TWILIGHT is an ABOMINATION!
VAMPIRES do NOT sparkle when hit with sunlight, I don't give a frak how emo or flaming they are!
blasphemy. death to twilight! In a perfect world BLADE would ash those pathetic clowns.
daigojigai
Jul. 8, 2010 16:05pm
Girls are susceptible to anything that glitters, Cullen is no exception.
Anyway, i think Edward Cullen and Edward Malus are on the same rowboat. And they're sinking....
jazztonik
Jul. 9, 2010 05:35am
Edward is clearly terrible. It looks like Pattinson is fighting waves of nausea just to be in the movie. However, have you seen every other character? It's all a race to the bottom.
http://read-weep.com/episodes.php/eclipse-the-movie-reviewed/
kilgoretrout07
Jul. 9, 2010 11:44am
Honestly, Jacob is truly a worse character. Edward really just seems like a dull dude. Jacob is not just a psycho, but a psycho with horribly delivered lines.
guitarpete987
Jul. 11, 2010 17:08pm
Seems there are some who have taken a big swig of the hateraide.....Let me guess you are guys who's gals are panting over the twilight guys......Get over it....Good acting/bad acting....Moot point....It's a couple of hours of excapism.......It doesn't have to be oscar quality...It serves a purpose to those who enjoy it.....It's not meant to change lives or move mountains....Just good old, mind-numbing,let's take a brake from the somewhat repressive suckiness of real-life. If it's not your "brand of heroin" (Twi's will get this reference)....So be it.....Certainly not worth getting so worked up about. To the nay-sayers, let us have our cheesey, volvo-driving, shiny, hot, emo vampire fantasies and we'll let you go about your gotta hate on everyone-else's parade. I know...I know...Freedom of speech....(Thank goodness it's one freedom we sortof still have intact).....Here's an idea....We just all agree to disagree....Nuff said....Hope everyone has a great week.....Twi fans and not Twi fans.....Smile a little more each day....You mind actually catch yourself in a happy moment...
mmichelleouillette
Jul. 13, 2010 06:50am
mmichelleouillette = Fail
Poor spelling (brake/break; excapism/escapism).
Poor grammar (no full stops all...).
Plus, my name clearly states that I'm a girl. Just because we don't like Twishite doesn't mean we're all jealous boyfriends who don't want our partners drooling over Robert Pattinson or that other guy. If you had read my comments (which you obviously didn't, did you only read the headline?) you would know that I detest the terrible writing, the slashing of vampire mythology, and the awful emo-passive-idiocy of the one dimensional characters.
If you want to troll, at least have the decency to do it well.
geekygirluk
Jul. 13, 2010 10:47am
Ok geekygirluk,my post was not targeted at you specifically. It was aimed at people, in general, who seem to have to find the bad in everything, to those who are only happy finding FAULT. No, I should not have made the clearly sexist remarks that I did. For that I am sorry. The comments were actually meant to be taken a little more lightly than they were. They were meant to be more tongue-in-cheek. Unfortunately, in this type of medium, it's too easy to have your words, and tone, mis-construed. I am a twilight fan. You and several others are not. To each their own. My biggest point I was trying to make it isn't necessary for those who do not like the movie, characters, etc. to be a complete ass about it toward those who do. Everybody likes what they like and not everyone likes exactly the same things. Thank heaven for that because if we all did like the exact same things it would be a really boring world out there. I really did not mean to offend anyone and sincerely apologize if I did. I will say, without apology, that people who find it absolutley necessary to hate, pick apart, disect, and put everybit of their energy into being negative, hateful and anal will never be able to fully enjoy life. Some movies, or moments, or music, or whatever, are meant to be silly, or stupid, or fun. Not everything has to be serious and logical. Just because you, and others, find no value in this movie does not mean that it shouldn't be entertaining to others just because YOU say so. It is for each person to decide for theirself. I just think there are way too many people who are trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill about this movie. Yes, I love the movies. Entirely my choice. But entertainment value of a movie, or a book, or music...like beauty... is in the eye of the beholder. Either way, whatever opinion is expressed, it shouldn't, and doesn't, devalue the person who expresses it just because there are differing opinions. Everyone has a RIGHT to their opinion but no one has the right to hate on someone who happens to have a different opinion, hence the "We just agree to disagree". I'm trying to decide if you were more upset about the rebuffing of the "haters" or my lack of gramatical skills. (Hope this one sets a little better with you geekygirl) I was actually almost poking as much fun at my twilight-loving self as to those on the thumbs down to all that is twilight side. LOL. Come guys. You really have to lighten up. Life is too serious as it is. You'll never get out alive. Later
mmichelleouillette
Jul. 14, 2010 02:43am
I personally enjoy Twilight, the only problems I have are the fact that it became popular after every "school reject" basically got done reading Twilight and was made fun of for it. I do have to say a few things though and I don't feel like placing it in well organized sentences so here it is:
- Most of the Cullens speak within the same emotional criteria due to the fact that most have realized that they are damned.
- I'm not sure how you consider Edward a "worthless" creation due to the fact that he is the only vampire that (from what we have seen) has the ability to resist her blood. (Remember that her blood is his favorite "type")
- To go against original mythology is always something that will be looked down on but at the same will be praised. Those who look down on the contradictions between vampires in Twilight and those in mythology have no open mind to creativity in my opinion.
- The writing is not terrible, I do not believe you can even judge how someone's writing is unless you have created writings that have been successful and publicized.
- One-Dimensional characters have no ability to learn or adapt, Edward has learned that Werewolves are not horrible people. (This is shown in the scene where Jacob has to be in the tent to keep Bella warm)
@Geekygirluk You honestly have no clue what you are talking about as I can tell you have no sense of all the cracks and hidden corners that reside in the movie.
@daigojigai If you nothing to truly contribute to the community please keep your tunnel-vision effected thinking to yourself.
@cal0105 This is how the public does things and I agree, if you don't want the person to have attention, don't give it to them.
protomega
Jul. 14, 2010 09:41am
Kudos Protmega. I agree with your evaluation of the story and characters.
mmichelleouillette
Jul. 14, 2010 16:13pm
Aaah Protomega....I haven't watched the movie because the books were such a pile of rubbish. If I hadn't been so totally turned off by the poor quality of writing and poor characterisation in the books, I might have watched the movies.
And this: "I do not believe you can even judge how someone's writing is unless you have created writings that have been successful and publicized." is just silly. What you are essentially saying is that the only people able to judge the quality of someone else's writing is a successful author. When anyone who has read a fair number and variety of books can determine for themselves what constitutes clever/lazy/insightful/slow/dull/poor/witty/etc..
And WRT your comment to daigojigai, how does your comment contribute any more to the discussion than theirs? There's a difference between 'going against original mythology' and making a badass into a lameass.
What I don't get (and never will) is that an obvious fan of the books and movies deliberately clicked on a link that was clearly insulting the object of your fandom. If you know it's something you're not going to like, why look? Just to troll, right?
geekygirluk
Jul. 19, 2010 08:34am